Fear
by Takada Saiko
Summary: He wants the greatest minds in all the BAU, and he will stop at nothing to get them. The question is: how much torment can those minds stand up to without shattering?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: The Note Left Behind

"_Anguish of mind has driven thousands to suicide; anguish of body, none." _

**C. C. Colton**

The day began like any other day. It was cold, the brisk air of autumn cutting through his jacket so that he had to pull it closer to his body and tug at the violet scarf tied around his slender neck. He wasn't running late, per say, but he had wanted to be there early.

Dr. Spencer Reid rushed into the bullpen that early morning, giving an awkward wave towards Emily Prentiss, who had looked up upon his arrival. "In a hurry, Reid?" she called to him.

"Not overly, just making sure I wasn't late."

"When are you ever?" she grumbled, turning back to the paperwork that was piled before her. They had just returned from a particularly long case in which had made her suddenly look forward to the hopeful vacation they should be receiving for the Christmas holiday. She wasn't going to count on it until she was well out of contact though. "Oh, Reid?" she called suddenly, noticing the younger agent walking quickly towards Hotch's office. "Hotch has Strauss and someone else in there with him. He said to stay out for a bit."

"Oh," the young genius said with an uncertainty lacing his voice. "He had said he wanted these-" he held up the small stack of files he had had tucked under his arm- "first thing this morning…"

"Something came up he wasn't expecting," Rossi answered from behind.

Prentiss and Reid both turned to look at the elder man. He stood at the edge of the bullpen, eyes narrowed and brow furrowed in worry. Something was deeply troubling him.

"Do you know who the third person in there is, Rossi?"

"This is a nosy team," David answered with a laugh. "And yes, I do."

"But you're not going to tell us," Emily grumbled.

A smile perked Rossi's lips and he shook his head slowly. This team had grown on him quickly, he had to admit. They had seemed off – the whole idea of a team at all for the BAU had seemed off at first if he were honest with himself – when had had first met them, but now he felt as if he had somehow been accepted into this tight knit family. He wondered what the young man inside Hotch's office would represent to his new family.

"Jason Gideon's son," he answered at length.

"Gideon's son?" Reid echoed, dark eyes growing wide. "Maybe he knows where he went. Why would he be here?"

"Slow down there, Reid," Emily advised as she put a hand on his shoulder. "We don't know what he's here for. It must be something big if Strauss is in there too."

"You don't think something happened to him, do you?" No one could deny how much like a small child Reid sounded just at that moment.

"I think we're about to find out," Rossi answered as the door opened and Strauss stepped out, followed by a young man about Reid's age and build. He shook Hotch's hand and gave a sad smile, his dark hair falling into his eyes and he making no move to shake it away. He seemed to feel the three sets of eyes on him from the bullpen and looked their way.

"It's been a good long while, but you look well," Rossi said as he strode up towards the young man. "Do you remember me?"

A small smile perked the young man's features. "David Rossi. How could I forget? What brought you back? You should have retired ages ago."

"Are you calling me old now?" Rossi joked back.

"Of course not."

"What brings you all the way to Quantico, son?"

The boy dipped his head slightly and his shoulders dropped. "I wish it were better circumstances, I really do. He and I were just getting back to talking again, and now… I never saw it coming."

"Did something happen to Gideon?" Reid asked suddenly, eyes wide and feet moving him closer to his mentor's son before he even knew they were.

"You must be Spencer," the other said without hesitation. "Dad told me all about you. Brilliant, he said. I think he thought of you like another son. I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you…"

"W-what happened?"

Gideon's son reached deep into his pants pocket and pulled out a single leaf of paper. He handed it over to Reid who scanned it with his brilliant speed. Dark eyes widened and he read it over and over, looking for some misunderstanding. "That's… not possible," he said slowly.

"What is it?" Prentiss demanded as she plucked the paper from Reid's hands. "My word… Gideon… committed _suicide_?"

"I hardly believe it myself, but it's all right there," Hotch said slowly, hurt evident in his normally steely voice. He turned his attention back to the remaining Gideon. "You say that his body was not in the same place that the letter was?"

"No," the young man answered slowly. "But I can't imagine that he is alive with _that_ put down on paper."

"You mean, you can't even bury him?" Emily asked in horror.

"We'll find him," Hotch promised them. "Reid?"

The young genius had not moved since Prentiss had taken the paper from his hands. His eyes remained fixated where the paper had been, as if he were still reading the words there. His face was paler than usual, drawn and clammy looking. He shook visibly.

"Reid."

"Huh?" Reid asked with a jump as Hotch's hand came crashing down on his shoulder, jolting him out of his stupor.

"Go home."

"But work…."

Hotch's look said what words didn't. Everyone knew Reid was in no condition to work at that moment, and he didn't want to be around when the news had to be relayed to Morgan – not an experience to look forward to – and should simply take advantage of the sick time that he had built up so nicely and go home.

He couldn't remember walking out the door. He couldn't remember getting into his old, beaten up car and driving back to his apartment. None of it was clear to his eidetic memory. All he knew was that he turned the key in the lock and the door swung open, but past that was all darkness, and that, as if nothing else had ever been so, was a welcomed relief.

A/N: Strange beginning, I know. I know where I'm going with this, and the beginning was going to be the hardest to write. This is my first Criminal Minds story to really work on, and I like the idea, so please let me know if you do as well. I should have the next chapter written and published tomorrow, but for now I'm going to bed.

TS


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One: Mistake

"_Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."_

**R. D. Lang**

A set of chocolate eyes fluttered open very slowly. His head hurt, pounding as if something had been slammed into the back of it, but as he slowly reached a hand to the back of it, he could find no knot. Everything was strange, and he felt as if his mind were fuzzy. It was the same feeling that he had had while taking the dilaudid.

"You're awake!" a chipper voice said from the doorway and for the first time Reid put together his surroundings. The owner of the lone voice that he had heard in what felt like days entered through a stark white door, it closing on its own behind her. The walls in which she passed seemed whiter than the door itself had and there was nothing on it. Everything in the small, four-walled room reminded the young doctor of a hospital.

"Where am I?" Spencer croaked, his throat dry from disuse.

"You don't remember?" the girl asked, her voice shrill and innocent. She was dressed in an orderly's uniform and carrying a tray of what might have been food on it. "It's okay," she answered him at a length of silence. "Dr. Brightman will take very good care of you."

"Dr. Brightman?"

"Yes. This is his private hospital. He only takes very special cases, you see. He's brilliant." Her eyes were wide with worship as she spoke of the doctor. "He brought you here because you're sick."

"How so, except for the feeling of being drugged for several days on end?"

"You've been here three, and Dr. Brightman would never drug a patient." There was no room to dispute her statement as she set the almost-food down on a table next to his bed. She refused to make eye contact with him as she spoke. "Your friends… apparently they thought you were sick and contacted Dr. Brightman."

"My friends?" Reid felt like an imbecile as he repeated her for the second time. "Is this a…."

"This is The Brightman Institute for the Mentally Ill. My name is Maggie Church. I'm a nurse here."

Spencer Reid felt every ounce of blood drain from his face and he knew he was paler than his sheets. "No… You're wrong."

"Excuse me?"

"There's been some mistake," Reid continued, it all sounding perfectly logical as the words slipped off his tongue and passed his lips. "My boss, Hotch, he's the only one with the authority to do this, and he swore to me a long time ago – he swore! – that he'd never abandon me in a place like this. No. You're wrong."

"Just settle down, Dr. Reid," Maggie said calmly as she placed a hand on either of his broad shoulders. She felt him shaking tremendously under her grasp and she tried to steady him. "Please. Dr. Brightman really doesn't want to have to sedate you."

"If you would just tell me the truth I wouldn't be so upset!" His voice had turned squeaky in his fear. "Just let me talk to Hotch. We'll get all of this sorted out. He'll tell you this is all a big mistake. Please!"

"Agent Hotchner does not want to speak with you, Dr. Reid. He has made that very clear."

Reid looked to the door where a man was standing very suddenly. He was tall with broad shoulders. Glasses set upon the bridge of a very sharp nose and his eyes were narrow and blue. They glared.

"Dr. Brightman!" Maggie exclaimed as she finally released Reid. "You were right, sir, that he'd be awake, but Dr. Reid here has been in a real frenzy, sir. He… I don't think he remembers why he's here, sir."

Brightman gave a sharp nod and moved towards the young genius. "A moment, Maggie, won't you?" He watched the girl nod and disappear as quickly as she had come, but then turned his full attention back to his unwilling patient. "Dr. Reid, your superior contacted me two weeks ago. He feared for you, is what he said, that you had completely let yourself go and that you were spiraling downward after news of a friend's suicide." He pulled a package of notes from a pile he was carrying with him. "You're mother is paranoid-schizophrenic. I believe you have a closed psychiatric evaluation from your youth showing high signs of Asperger Syndrome and possible Autistic traits that were never delved further into. You've had a drug issue with Dilaudid-"

"How the hell do you know all this?" Reid growled, his temper – rarely something shown in readiness – flared.

"Agent Hotchner provided me with everything that would be useful. Even if it was not on the record or sealed. Now let's see…" He flipped through several papers. "Surprisingly, you've passed every psychological evaluation that the FBI has given you, but-"

"I want to talk to Hotch," Reid repeated his earlier demand.

"That will be impossible."

"Listen, I don't know who you are, and I don't care, but I'm leaving. You have no right to keep me here." The young genius stood to leave and felt a strong hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. He reacted on instinct, pulling away from him and dodging. Brightman's fist came down on him with a force that he did not expect and he fell back against the wall. His vision swam and then came to focus on the large man.

"You won't be talking to Agent Hotchner for a while yet," Brightman said with a grin as he pulled a needle from his pocket. In the vile was a clear liquid and Reid's eyes widened as he pulled back. The doctor pinned him against the wall, holding his arm so that he could not move it, and forced the needle through his skin and into the vein.

"What…?"

"I believe you know its effects, Dr. Reid?"

"What use does a… psyc. doctor have for… dilaudid?" Reid managed in a slurred voice before everything crashed down into the frightening nightmares that he'd left behind two years before when he'd set aside his need for the drug.

"Dr. Brightman?" Maggie asked from the door, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Make sure Dr. Reid is back in bed before he wakes, Ms. Church. I have another patient to attend to."

A/N: So there's the second chapter. It's picking up and my apologies that the chapter's aren't longer.

Auraya-of-the-White: Thank you, and hopefully the interestingness of the idea is only just beginning to develop!

Ohiocoolgirl: Good good. Hopefully I won't disappoint you with this then.

Pearl: Here it is!

E: Thank you much. Here it is

Aris1013: Thank you very much.

LostandAlone22: That is always my favorite thing to hear from reviewers when I write is that I have people in character, especially for this fandom. When writing about profilers, to get them wrong would be to fail at writing in the fandom, in my opinion, so that's encouraging!

Kasey64: Oh, yes! Much, much Reid!

LoraLee2: That's a very good idea about the character death notice, but for reasons that I can't disclose yet (complete and total spoiler!) I can't. You'll understand more as you read.

Kdzl: Thanks much! Here's the next!

Resolucidity: thanks so much! Hope it didn't disappoint

Lenni George: Here you are!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter two: Lies and Truths

"_Truth is more of a stranger than fiction."_

**Mark Twain**

Reid felt himself surface very slowly, breaking the barrier between dreams and reality with a snail's pace. He felt like gasping for air as he came out of it. Everything was wrong. He was coming off of a dilaudid high, but he hadn't touched the drug in two years. His brain hurt, trying to scrape through the fog that was set up around him.

A pair of brown eyes opened suddenly, blinking rapidly and drying to moisten dried contacts. The young genius felt like there was a great weight pressing down on him, but he fought back with a strength that he did not know he had. He forced himself up and off the slender bed in which he had been laid out on. The room was empty save for the small nurse he had met earlier, who was sitting in the corner with her nose deep in a book. She glanced up, surprised to see him sitting up.

"Dr. Reid!"

"Ms. Church…" Reid managed, his voice cracking. He felt like he had spent the last bit screaming, and there was a good possibility that he had.

"You should lie down, Dr. Reid," the young woman said quietly. "Dr. Brightman said that you are very ill…"

Reid shook his head, trying to clear it. This was not a mental institution. There was no way in hell that he had lost weeks of his life the way that Brightman had insinuated. Everything was wrong about the situation. "Ms. Church, may I ask you something?"

"Of course!" she answered, sounding overly eager to help him any way she could.

"I need… to see this place." He paused, watching her reaction turn quizzical. "Sometimes when we're dealing with unsubs that are going through psychological breaks from reality, we have to show them that what they think is reality, isn't, and show them what is. Let me see this hospital, please, and I promise I won't be such a problem if it is what you say."

Maggie cocked her head in thought. All she wanted was her boss' approval, and if his newest patient would be easier to help, then certainly he would be very proud. It made sense, but she also knew that Dr. Brightman was not nearly as trusting as she, so she would have to make sure that he didn't see them walking. "Hold on a moment, Doctor," she said as she slipped from the room.

Reid's eyes widened, horror struck to think that his attempt had gone so badly. He hoped to get to a phone, a way out, anything. He knew mental facilities, and this was not one of them. He just needed to be sure he knew exactly what they were dealing with, and let Hotch know.

"Okay," Maggie's voice drifted to his ears. "Stand up slowly, Dr. Reid, and follow me. You have to stay right with me, you understand?"

"Of course," the agent responded as he stood, swaying slightly as he did. Everything felt to be at a tilt as he walked slowly after her, his eyes struggling to focus. The door swooshed open before him and he followed the petite nurse out. The hall stretched out in two ways and she turned right. Reid padded along in his sock covered feet directly behind her, pausing as she turned to the left down another corridor.

They continued their trek for a couple of minutes, everything looking very much in order. It scared Reid to see all of it. Granted, there were no other doctors around, but that could be explained by the fact that Brightman was said to hold a private practice. The walls were white, with names posted on the doors of which patient they belonged to. Maggie tapped her way down, heels clicking quietly. She didn't say a word, and she must have trusted him fully in her naivety, because she never looked back.

He pulled away down a right hallway suddenly, on whim, and padded quietly down it. He glanced over his shoulder to see that she had not noticed yet and darted with as much stealth as his clumsy limbs would allow. He peered into each of the doors, hoping for something, anything, that would help.

The names that lined the doors only first names. He'd noticed that upon exiting his own room. Daniel.

Richard.

Victor.

Charles.

Jason.

Reid stopped. Jason. Tears filled his eyes and he leaned heavily against the door. Maybe it was all true. Perhaps he had lost days of his life to the nothingness that he had feared for so long. Had he turned out just like his mother? He had never wanted Jason Gideon more in his life than that moment. After what seemed like an eternity Maggie Church rounded the corner. "Dr. Reid!" she said in a frightened, hushed voice. "I said to stay right with me!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Church," the young agent said dejectedly. "I must have taken a wrong turn."

A smile lit her face. "It's alright, Doctor. I was sure that was all that had happened. Do you understand now?"

Spencer nodded quietly. "Yes, I think so…" He pushed himself off of the door and took one glance back. The name seemed to shine off of the metal entry and he allowed his dark eyes to linger on the small window to the inside.

"Ms. Church!" Brightman's voice rang through the hallway. "What did I tell you about our patients?!"

The young woman was visibly shaking as her boss approached her. She glanced back at Reid, hoping for something to help her, but the young genius' eyes were locked on the window.

Inside sat a man in the center of the room. Though the window did not frame him perfectly, one could tell he was slumped over, eyes downcast, with pictures of some sort surrounding him. The room was dimly lit, but Reid had no doubt in his mind.

"Gideon!" he gasped loudly, but felt a strong hand latch down on him.

"You're very ill, Dr. Reid," Brightman said evenly as he began to pull him away.

"That's Gideon… You have him! Let go! Gideon!"

The needle pierced his skin before he even knew what was happening and Spencer felt himself falling forward as if the entire world had shifted under his feet. Everything was going dim and his vision shifted into those horrible dreams he tried so hard to avoid.

He didn't see the patient behind the locked door look up as Brightman was hauling him off, nor did he see the tears spilling from the ever strong Jason Gideon's eyes.

"I was sure this wasn't right to begin with," Morgan said as he shifted newly arrived letter in his hand.

"Whoever's setting this up isn't taking any precautions to keep us from figuring it out," Prentiss murmured, eying the note as well. "I mean… two within a few days… Does this unsub really believe we don't know our own team members well enough?"

"Reid's had his hard times," Hotch said steadily, "but even news of Jason Gideon's death wouldn't be enough to drive him over the edge."

"So they're both gone," JJ summed up everyone else's thoughts.

"And your superior's won't let you in on the case?" Garcia asked in shock.

"Too close to home," a new voice said. Everyone turned to see David Rossi standing in the doorway. "I came as soon as Hotch called."

"We're not on this officially," Hotch announced with a nod of acknowledgement towards Rossi. "But Reid is one of our own, as Gideon was, and if they're both in trouble, which I have reason to believe that they are, then we will step up to the challenge."

"Not that we don't live for the unofficial cases," Morgan grinned, remembering too many fond memories.

"I want a working profile A.S.A.P. Morgan and Prentiss, you two will go to Reid's apartment. Search for anything that could be useful. JJ has tracked down Gideon's last known address for me, and she, Rossi, and I will be making a very quiet trip to Montana. Any questions?" After a long moment of silence, Hotch nodded. "Good. Let's find them."

"And that bastard that took them," Morgan grumbled, resisting the urge to crumble the alleged suicide note in his hands.

A/N: sorry for the delay, I've been getting everything ready for the semester to pick up again. Isn't a break supposed to be relaxing?

Aris1013: And the answer is revealed! I honestly can't see Hotch ever sending Reid to a mental institution, no matter what had happened…

Kdzl: I hope I'm continuing along the lines that you were enjoying.

Tellygirl: I hope you don't know EXATCLY what he's up to, because then that would make me far too predictable, and that's never a good trait.

Resolucidity: hoping that the story is still not disappointing. I feel like it was kind of a bridge to put things together and that it's not flowing very well, but it is my first of this fandom.

Auraya-of-the-White: Thank you much. Hope it continued to be interesting!

Kasey64: Apparently so! And yeah, good thing he checked, but I couldn't bypass a little Spencer angst, now could I?

Golden Lass: thank you much!

Starlitsmile: He's my favorite too. Wonderful character for an actor who didn't go into it wanting to act. Imagine that.

Ambrelynn: I don't think I could seriously kill Gideon off. I have way too much respect for his character.


End file.
